haiz tears flow down once again and i just had a bad dream.. dreamt that i made her unhappy again. just very sad when i see the boi boi alone and missing her sweet messages and encouraging de messages. in the past every morning or when i wake up she is the reason i smile and so is it every time before i sleep. now is not much of a difference. still woke up every morning but theres no more reason to smile and be happy. just miss her so much so much den before sleep just very sad whenever i think back - we would message each other to go to bed have a goodnight rest bla bla bla almost everynight without fail even when we're busy. i always wish i really really wish i could message her to make her happy but now i guess i shouldn't do so anymore ba would just be making things even tougher for both of us. i just tear till i sleep sometimes. If i could reverse time, i'm unsure if i should still call you dear or just be normal friends.

sch has started and is quite good la because got many nice classmates and lecturers. poly is a bit different from sec sch. really must have self discipline i guess.. if not den i also dunno la fail the modules? fail the course totally? poly is like courseworks/assessments/tutorials got weightage in the overall results. so cannot dun do homework. if not really will affect a lot. but i find it still okay la still can adapt. just that morning classes 8am start so i have to wake up at 5am every morning except monday afternoon 1pm class.. latest bus i can take is 6.20am de? if not sure late already. dun think i will go to boonlay de uncle house live la after all quite troublesome for them den paiseh la. they very welcome me la but i think only when necessary den i will go ba. i'm also afraid that when i go to his house stay i might not be able to study or revise well as compared to my home. home is best i suppose. argh have to wake up early >< tomorrow 12pm can go home le yay..

sad and empty without her.. i miss her BADLY! when will all these finally end? just when..