quite some time never update le hor? its june holidays now.. and i'm bored to death staying at home.. yet, im lazy to go out due to the crazy hot weather. -.- just woke up at bout 8.30am today. i'm so stress once again.. mst(mid-semester tests) starts on the 29th june to 3rd july which is the first week when sch reopens.. have not been revising at all.. playing games, watch tv, slack and its really really bored.. i feel like shouting just now sia when i woke up.. luckily i didn't.. cause my dad is at home today unlike previous days.. heng.. later he tot i kee siao.. and a big part of the stress comes from my relationship with sherry.. i'm stress and she's stress but i am forcing myself to be strong because if both of us breaks down, who knows wad will happen.. i am the guy, i have to be strong. her mom does not like friends she met online and thinks that she too easily believe in people(me).. haiz wad can i do? when i knew about wad her mom thinks, i know that definitely my chance to be with her is very unlikely already.. i suppose she noes too.. she cried, i remained strong.. and the worst thing of all, comes from me. when we'll on the phone and it goes silent. i am lost for words or perhaps we ran out of topic.. the feeling is super terrible i swear.. i hate silences when i'm on phone with her.. yet thats me, the useless bum. in fact, last night i dun dare to call her when she said i could call. coward? she must be super disappointed with me.. "Then forever don't call?" my heart felt like it burst when i read that msg.. maybe she dunno how i must have felt.. i am already scared theres no forever between us, and that is wad i saw.. seriously i feel like hiding like before.. silence really kills me when i'm on phone with her.. but its like.. so suddenly.. i cant help it.. its me.. then i was thinking, would it be better if we remain as friends? because i know i can be a good friend but i cant.. be a good boyfriend.. always the same.. always me.. its like i am really meant to be single? why... i dunno... haiz. and my birthday is reaching in 2 days? for tat i am stress also.. im breaking down, yet i'm pretending everything is fine. sherry has prepared presents for me.. she used lots of time, effort and love to make them. but, she is more important than anything i could ever have.. i want to keep my promises to her.. i know it hurts super bad when ur loved ones break their promises.. ppl say that lovers dun need promises or swear? and we have been apologising to each other quite often.. 我们真的适合做情侣吗？对不起，我再一次的变成那个没信心的我。对不起，我又让你伤心难过。对不起，我没办法不去想我们配不配。是不是像周杰伦的“安静”，我会学着放弃你，是因为我太爱你？放弃我们这段感情，我真的舍不得。我不知道我在写什么。我爱你。。